About Me

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Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Just a happy 23 year old with Bipolar. Attempting to make a little bit of a difference to enhance this beautiful world. I choose rose-tinted sunglasses. xo

Saturday, January 26, 2013

An Out of Body Expirience

Being home from the hospital isn't quite like how I imagined it would be. Part of me still felt safer in the bubble wrapped world or doctors and nurses. The structure and the daily routines. The food being delivered without making too many choices and being satisfied with the things on my plate. Art and Pet Therapy and changing a Mental Health Ward into a place that was filled with love and friendship. Movie nights and permission to have a smoke. All very structured, but all very predictable.
I excelled at Kindergarten/ Club Med(ication)/Meditation. Now it's the real world. A world of cold and unpredictable outcomes. A world of real people with real concerns and worries. A world where you can choose to be a smoker and smoke. Where you can be hungry and just eat. A world without having your day broken down into activities, meal and bed times. A world that if you need help you just simply need to ask and you may or may not receive the help you intended on getting.
It's cold outside and hibernation seems like the best option, but I need to pick myself up and get dressed for life. It's time to see that the only safety nets I need are there and have been in place for longer than everyone seems to see. I've got this. It's all the questioning and proving myself that is exhausting.
If you happen to read this please note: I am Jenelle and Bipolar. NOT, Jenelle the crazy one. If you have an issue with it, just imagine tat I'm a black, gay, midget and see if you would point all of that out to me, or if it's simply good enough just to know it and say nothing.
Jenelle the warmhearted friend that you all know and love. Xo

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Everyday SuperHeroes

Quickly note: Wow... There are an awful lot of Superheroes in this picture. And my favourites aren't even Marvel apparently. All of this, just to point out, that everything can be a "power" and it is simply the mindset that differentiates these people from the villains. 

The goal of my day today is simply just to be an average, lovable, everyday Superhero. And I challenge you to be the same. Some credibility is needed to make it seem normal, but no magical costume is needed.

Tips and tricks:
Complement someone of the same gender ("Your boots are really nice, where did you find them?"; "Nice tie buddy, I have one just like it." Etc.)
Hold open the door excuse yourself if you don't.
Ride a bus and talk to someone as a friend, not a fellow passenger.
Buy the homeless man a coffee, it's bloody freezing in Ottawa today.

The rest I will leave up to you. But it really takes no effort at all to make someone else's day.

Challenge excepted? I hope so.

Jenelle. Or Catwoman. Your choice. 

A Kaleidoscopic World of Colours

Today purple is simply a colour.
You can choose any colour that you would like. I just happen to think purple is a beautiful colour. Mauve, Violet, Magenta, Deep, Light, Shiny, or Dull. If I had to choose just one colour... It would be purple... But the best part is: All colours are lovely. All are derived from the same source... White. And the

Nothing in this post will be surprising of new... All of what I am saying I would have been able to say yesterday, or choosing to say them tomorrow. But all of this also leads to a post that has taken me _____ attempts to finish and compile in a way that I felt confident enough to

Again I try. Even as a remind myself, "It's just a blog... It's nothing that needs to be perfect, just type and carry on and edit later. I fell the need to backspace and correct myself. What is that all about. No one but you will read it. No one but you will see it. FUCK. Don't look up, just type. You got this. Yep. no more puntiationitsnedednotforyougettoreaditonly." STOP. "Breathe. look up. Edit. Edit. Edit. Take your time. Why are you rushing all of this. Have a break. Smoke? Song change? Just breathe."

"Bi the Bi. Which one is less acceptable?" Marking Dweeb ;) Also... It's kind of like birth control for the brain id you so choose to see it that way. Metaphor or Simile? Language Lover :)

To NG: you can read my mind... written for the world and/or no one to see Love Janu

FONT CHANGE... Black will be better. Better.

Best. My new idea, it's a simple one. But it's going to do wonders for me. My heart beats faster from the excitement. A little flutter here and they devoted to someone else, but always has to be me at the end of the day. It simply must be that way. It's not selfish to write. It's not mean to have priorities. It's not hard to see the limitations and resetrictions. It may be easy to ignore them (thank you Ottawa for all your "WONDERFUL" smoking regulations for making that one so vey clear.), but they remain in place and constant if you choose to simply: Look good, Smell good, and be predictable. I wise man once told be that. It makes a lot of sense.

This is also why I will take a moment to reward all of you:

Everyday superheros... It's not only me that believes. xo

Or for those who prefer videos:
Jenna Marbles, A birthday "twin" according to...


Thanks. See you on the other side. Right Momma? xo

Future blog posts will solely be reflective of my needs, however hopefully enjoyable for your lives. And edited carefully? Sure. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Karaoke Superstar

A few key ingredients are necessary for the makings of a successful evening:

  1. A deep fried, special ordered, CHOCOLATE icecream (preferably with the whipped cream and chocolate sauce within reach)
  2. A strong drink (Or a B52 coffee is #1 is the pairing)
  3. A microphone, some drunk people combined with cheap pitchers, and a projection screen (audience participation is highly encouraged)
Apart from that, you're all smart and wonderfully creative people, so you can fill in the rest. 

If you do run out of ideas, I now will enlighten you with some lovely, time-passing, and SOCIAL ideas:
  • Play a board game. Yatzee has nothing but 5 dice and a piece of paper, however if you are needing some other idea: Apples to Apples and Carcasson are two of my favourites.
  • CHARADES. Yes. I went there. And believe it or not, it is incredibly entertaining. Pictionary is also in this category of AWESOMENESS. 
  • Create a 'Bucket List' are a collective group while playing 'Never have I ever' for inspiration. 
And at some point you should discover www.8tracks.com to take care of the music choices for the evening. Paired with some finger foods and a few cold beverages and I promise... The night is young (YOLO? Wow. Sorry.) and will only be as great as YOU make it. 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

I remember being little and never wanting to be "famous" in Hollywood, but still always choosing which actress or movie character I wanted to be while watching. Disney was always there with a beautiful Princess to choose from, or Romantic Comedies had the protagonist being some women that in the end gets her fairytale. 
It would be unfair of me to claim that movies set me up for disappointment. I realized early on that the plots only worked so well because there was a team of people behind what I was watching making these decisions for me. Every movie needs an ending. This might seem strange, but there was comfort in the fact that all the loose ends happened to be tied together after a couple of hours. 
I don't think I am a Princess. Far from it actually. But that being said, Disney did teach me more then just the basics in life. Rewatching the "Classics" now, I see so much more than when I was a little girl. 

  • Belle taught me that being a French woman is something to pride yourself on. She's strong and willing to sacrifice her freedom for that of her father's and still manages to see the silver lining that is behind the Beast. Thanks. (I wanted to be her for Prom)
  • Ariel was the fiery redhead who follows her heart even if the cost seems to high. No words are needed to communicate love, and sometime you have to screw over your family to get what you need. Thanks. (Redhead by choice)
  • Cinderella worked her ass off to please woman just so that one day she could be the center of some Prince's life. I also believe that trying on a pair of shoes to find true love is more about the dedication behind the glass slipper. 
  • Mulan. A KICK ASS ASIAN. No man should be able to do things that woman isn't aloud to attempt too. I can choose to pee standing, but sitting is simply more comfortable. 
  • Aurora... Well she just slept and waited for the Prince to wake her... But she had no other options. 
  • Snow White mad it so that I could happily take care of children or dwarfs and still live a fulfilling life. That and she loved to clean, and cook, and sing. Eve and her both got screwed by Apples. 
  • Pocahontas made me value nature more and believe that the world sends messages, you just need to step back and realize the beauty to see it. Appreciate all the little gifts from Mother Nature. 
  • Jasmine... SHE HAD A TIGER AS A PET. And magic carpet rides, and that Jafar situation. <3
  • Tiana was not only the first "black" princess, she paves her own way to get her dream of owning her business. Dispite the adversary she faces, she ends up winning the man and her life. 
  • Rapunzel discovered that maybe your family doesn't always have your best interests at heart, but you TRUE family will always be waiting for you. 
Although they may all be 16 years old... These woman are tougher than I've given them credit for. Hopefully you can see past the facade and read deeper into things. 

Today, I am a hybrid. A little of this and a bit of that. A little Ariel, a side of Belle, and a dash of Tiana. Tomorrow I may be Erin Brockovich, but for today, I will be a Princess. 


Saturday, January 12, 2013

HI HO....

Another disappearing act from the Sullivan front, But I always manage to come back. 

Blogging is the same way. 

So... Stay tuned for something more interesting, but for now:

I have superpowers: Empathy.

I have a Krypotonite: Giving a shit. 

What are yours? 

And really, if I could choose... I would have Spider Man wrist flinging power... But not webs... That's lame. I want to shoot anything of my wrist. 

Real world: "CIGARETTE, LIGHTER, $1000, NEW PURSE..."

Best super power ever. 

And yours would be?


And another fun game: If your life is a movie, and you could have a soundtrack, what would your song for today be? I can't seem to choose just one for today, but RIGHT THIS SECOND... (NVM Jenna Marbles got my attention).