About Me

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Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Just a happy 23 year old with Bipolar. Attempting to make a little bit of a difference to enhance this beautiful world. I choose rose-tinted sunglasses. xo

Saturday, January 26, 2013

An Out of Body Expirience

Being home from the hospital isn't quite like how I imagined it would be. Part of me still felt safer in the bubble wrapped world or doctors and nurses. The structure and the daily routines. The food being delivered without making too many choices and being satisfied with the things on my plate. Art and Pet Therapy and changing a Mental Health Ward into a place that was filled with love and friendship. Movie nights and permission to have a smoke. All very structured, but all very predictable.
I excelled at Kindergarten/ Club Med(ication)/Meditation. Now it's the real world. A world of cold and unpredictable outcomes. A world of real people with real concerns and worries. A world where you can choose to be a smoker and smoke. Where you can be hungry and just eat. A world without having your day broken down into activities, meal and bed times. A world that if you need help you just simply need to ask and you may or may not receive the help you intended on getting.
It's cold outside and hibernation seems like the best option, but I need to pick myself up and get dressed for life. It's time to see that the only safety nets I need are there and have been in place for longer than everyone seems to see. I've got this. It's all the questioning and proving myself that is exhausting.
If you happen to read this please note: I am Jenelle and Bipolar. NOT, Jenelle the crazy one. If you have an issue with it, just imagine tat I'm a black, gay, midget and see if you would point all of that out to me, or if it's simply good enough just to know it and say nothing.
Jenelle the warmhearted friend that you all know and love. Xo

1 comment:

  1. Hey Lady! It`s Amanda!!!!!!! (Pammie`s daughter) I`m sending you good vibes. You`re a tough girlie. Navigation will be easy peasy. I`m rootin` for you.