About Me

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Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Just a happy 23 year old with Bipolar. Attempting to make a little bit of a difference to enhance this beautiful world. I choose rose-tinted sunglasses. xo

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Over the Deep End for Games.

Another day and another challenge. The trick is simply to make it through.
No one ever said life was easy, or if someone did, they were lying and I'm feeling the brunt of it today.
My mood changes every 5 minutes it seems which just so happens to be tell tale of Bipolar type 1. Evidently everything seems to go up and down so quickly that you don't even know what's happening. How can this be the way that my mind works? Why is all so confusing? Another cigarette to pass this thought process... I think so. But then again, smoking is bad for you. I should quit. Quitting takes willpower and there is a lack of that where I'm concerned, or maybe I just think there is a lack of willpower. Maybe it's just there and I'm just too confused to figure it all out.
Maybe I should talk about something different.
Games. I like games. Most people like games... Not mind games, mind you, but board games... Or bored games. I played a few key ones in the last 24 hours and it's always neat to me how focusing on a single task, winning, allows me to be to really have a good time playing them.
Games everyone should try:

All three are amazing strategy based games, that like all games create an awesome alternate reality where you are in control of everything that happens, based on your actions... Kind of like real life.
I have to give a shout out to my friend Becca for getting me into gaming and embracing being a total nerd, because they really are fun to play. Most of the games I play come along with this girl and we are always excited with 2 player games. We enjoy playing these three fairly often upon our hang outs and it's the best way to spend the afternoon.
Ticket to Ride entrusts players to construct railways across the States and a few Canadian cities by laying cards of coordinating colours to the rail segments. Points are collected for completing destinations and having trains on the board. It's a lot of fun and quick moving, leaving tons to chance and luck of the cards drawn.
Pandemic is new to Becca's collection, but has already proven and new favourite. The concept being the players, 2 or more, have to save the world by curing four major diseases. It's a cooperative game that everyone gets to work together to complete actions, that they specialize in. Playing as part of a collective team makes for great discussions and fun deciding which diseases are threatening or planet. You either win or lose to the game and that's have the excitement.
Carcassonne is a quick and dynamic game that you get to create the board with you turn. A game composed  of tile peoples and little "Meeple" to claim roads, fields, cities, or monasteries. It moves quickly but knowing the tiles and being able to anticipate the coming one helps with strategy. Scoring while playing allows for some friendly competition, although everything can change after the last tile is played.

Apples to Apples is another great one to play in a more party setting as the rules vaguely encourage "mindlink" or telekinesis to read the judge and figure out what they would think is the best noun to be described by their adjective. 
I played this one in the hospital and it was super interesting to play on a psych ward... Most things are pretty entertaining on a ward come to think of it. It's really neat being able to read characters in a hospital setting and with the addition of a game, made it super interesting to try to teach and learn from other people who are noted to think a little "out side of the box" (colourful thinking if you will). It was a great language tool and for educational purposed this is a great game to play with any group. 
Becca is my worthy advisory. We both enjoy winning but lose to each other with a friendly high five. Board games are fun. Thanks for Christening the box with me ;)
I feel better now. Thanks. Something written down and out of my head helps with the everything.
xo, Jenelle

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Popsicles and Cleanups.

Being sick in your twenties isn't near as fun as it used to be when you were little. Instead of having someone taking care you, you get to do it all yourself.
I remember taking the day off school and watching movies and sleeping on the couch and doing nothing seemed like so much fun because you weren't allowed to do it normally. Sure you had to take medicine, but it was usually deliciously flavoured. Now it's all pills that need to be swallowed.
Getting tucked in by your mom was acceptable, now it just seems pathetic to ask (but curling into bed feels just as good).
So much for a sick day. Instead I will consume as many popsicles as I see fit and clean what needs to be tidied and sleep when I need to sleep.
I miss being 7.
Love for the sicko,
xoxo,
Jenelle

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Mental Wealth. Thanks JJN :)


For context, I met this guy on the OC ride home. He sat next to me and creeped me out when he sat next to me. Turns out he suffers from some mental health issues. Between Rideau and Bayshore we talked and in honour of yesterday, Bell's Let Talk day, and it being Mental Health Awareness Week, I though I could share. Enjoy:

PS: Let's Talk Dirty Little Secrets With JJN



JJN
12/11/12
to me
Hey! Hope you got home safe. Why don't you and I grab a drink sometime and get to know each other a little more? :)

JJN

J
Ottawa, Ontario
cell: 

"Mr. Bear, Mr. Bear. What nice suits you wear. But you're not clever like a fox; nor quick like a hare. I've set you a trap. You're in for a scare."


Sent from my iPhone.
Jenelle Sullivan <jenelle.sullivan@gmail.com>
Jan 12
to JJN
Hey JJN,
I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get back to you... I had to stay at the hospital for an unexpected visit... And I'm still technically there, just on a weekend pass at home. Apparently I'm bipolar lol. Not funny, just context wise it made me smile that you were just so... OK with the things that are "difficult" and it made me realize that a lot of wonderful people have "issues". I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and maybe we could grab a coffee sometime. I should just say that I do have a boyfriend, not that you needed to know, I just don't like things being misinterpreted. 
Let me know if you are up for it sometime in a few weeks time. 
JJN
Jan 12
to me
Hey JJN,
I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get back to you... 

Hey Jenelle! Yes, yes it has been some weeks, but that is quite alright! I understand that sometimes life puts challenges ahead of us and they get in the way of intentions.

 I had to stay at the hospital for an unexpected visit... And I'm still technically there, just on a weekend pass at home. Apparently I'm bipolar lol.

Ah! so sad to hear this but so happy you're helping yourself! some people sit at home and feel sorry for themselves and then there are those like you who recognize theres a problem and do SOMETHING about it. Something LOGICAL. :) The healthcare system is a great resource and I feel the we are blessed to have such a world-class privilege. So don't be ashamed or anything if you are. I occasionally do security at the hospitals and can tell you, confidently, that you're in very good hands. Random but not so random fun-fact. I was in a relationship with a bi-polar girl and can safely say that i know a lot about it. :)

Not funny, just context wise it made me smile that you were just so... OK with the things that are "difficult" and it made me realize that a lot of wonderful people have "issues".

And still, I stand by that belief. You've got problems, but so do I! I'm not afraid to admit it, either, and i'm glad you did. :) I've said it before and I'll say it again: Life IS difficult. But It is through DIFFICULTY that we become wise and our souls, purified. :)

I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and maybe we could grab a coffee sometime.

Of course I did! Holidays are meant to be positive and I think that mine most certainly was. :) and yeah... maybe we can. It would be nice to do some face to face and shoot the shit, you know? :)

 I should just say that I do have a boyfriend, not that you needed to know, I just don't like things being misinterpreted. 

Aww really? I was totally going to ask you to marry me and you just ruined it!!! :(

Kidding. That's fine, Jenelle! To be totally honest here, i normally tear a strip off people who say that out of the blue, but you articulated that i don't need to know and that you just dont want things to be misinterpreted. which, to me, shows preservation of respect toward me. so i thank you for that. :)

Some guys get lead on easily, yeah. but not me. i can be "intense" to talk to in person but thats just my bold personality in it's full colour. :) i never mke a move if someone has a boyfriend and i respect that they are in a relationship. :)

but there are some women who say "i have a boyfriend" right away and with no explanation like you gave and that, to me, is merely a form of closed mindedness and self flattery!

anyways, thanks again for being an efficient communicator of your feelings. :) 

Let me know if you are up for it sometime in a few weeks time. 
Well, I have a lot of extra time for the next little while because there are two "blackout periods" per year at my main job with the gov't. We happen to be in the middle of the winter one right now. So aside from being at Algonquin on Thursday and Friday mornings, I'm open to hanging out with anyone who wants to have a good time with a friend. :)

And no, your boyfriend doesn't need to be insecure and worry about me trying to marry you! lol ;) it's Just a a coffee/tea haha.

Anyways, Jenelle! really nice to hear back from you.

Let me know when you want to do that coffee/tea. And seriously speaking, I don't mind visiting you at the hospital, at all. I understand you're going through lots and so I'm more than happy to accommodate. :)

Feel free to send me a text message, too, Jenelle! My number is in the signature. :)

Looking forward to your response! :)

JJN

- J
Ottawa, Ontario
cell:

"Sincerity makes the very least person to be of 
more value than the most talented hypocrite."



Monday, February 11, 2013

Heading to the Canal...

So this is what you get when you've lived in sunshine and warm places too long. 
Ilana and I met in Maison-Laffitte, Paris a couple years back and she just so happens to live in California part time and in Ottawa part time now:
  • Today
  • Ilana
    so im going skating on the canal friday. tell me how i need to dress...
    so im going skating on the canal friday. tell me how i need to dress...
    • Today
    • Jenelle Sullivan
      On Friday eh? That's a world away in "Ottawa Weather Forecasting Time". Sorry to say that today and tomorrow look nothing a like to us, so my best advice: Layers. Many many layers to ensure maximum warmth and comfort. Comfy is key.
      I would wear:
      - 2 pairs of socks
      - a tank top, a t-shirt, a hoodie, followed by a sporty winter coat.
      - long johns (long underwear?), warm and comfy pants... NO SNOWPANTS. Everyone will know you aren't from here. We take our snowpants to a ski hill, not the Canal.
      - Gloves and Mittens, a scarf, a hat or earmuffs
      ALSO! You aren't officially Canadian, or at minimum from Ottawa, should you forget to eat a Beavertail and complain (after being on the ice 4 to 8 minutes).
      - Camera, Cash, and PEE before you leave. The Ottawa Convention Centre had a display up that should be there still and they have nice bathrooms. It's that huge glass curved building.
      - Skates... Yeah. We talk big about Winterlude being awesome, but we ALWAYS bring our skates with us. We bitch and moan about it, but it's the WORLDS LARGEST OUTDOOR SKATING RINK. Skate.
      Have fun love! Oh.. that combo is also appropriate to wear to work if you bus.
      Love and have fun 
      Jenelle

    Saturday, January 26, 2013

    An Out of Body Expirience

    Being home from the hospital isn't quite like how I imagined it would be. Part of me still felt safer in the bubble wrapped world or doctors and nurses. The structure and the daily routines. The food being delivered without making too many choices and being satisfied with the things on my plate. Art and Pet Therapy and changing a Mental Health Ward into a place that was filled with love and friendship. Movie nights and permission to have a smoke. All very structured, but all very predictable.
    I excelled at Kindergarten/ Club Med(ication)/Meditation. Now it's the real world. A world of cold and unpredictable outcomes. A world of real people with real concerns and worries. A world where you can choose to be a smoker and smoke. Where you can be hungry and just eat. A world without having your day broken down into activities, meal and bed times. A world that if you need help you just simply need to ask and you may or may not receive the help you intended on getting.
    It's cold outside and hibernation seems like the best option, but I need to pick myself up and get dressed for life. It's time to see that the only safety nets I need are there and have been in place for longer than everyone seems to see. I've got this. It's all the questioning and proving myself that is exhausting.
    If you happen to read this please note: I am Jenelle and Bipolar. NOT, Jenelle the crazy one. If you have an issue with it, just imagine tat I'm a black, gay, midget and see if you would point all of that out to me, or if it's simply good enough just to know it and say nothing.
    Thanks.
    Jenelle the warmhearted friend that you all know and love. Xo